Where Catharsis Meets Cookies

They say that if you tell children they cannot do something they will just want to do it more. For example, if you give a small mouse a cookie, he will probably ask you for a glass of milk. Once you have something, you just want it more, or better, or with increased frequency. That being said, a straight-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookie sounds good right now.

When I started college, my access to a working kitchen was severely limited. There was the

lounge, which included an oven and stove, and I had a mini-fridge in my room. But, the

freshman lounge in my hall smelled gross to me, and there was usually a group of boys playing Catan—not the most conducive environment for my purposes.

I have never been much of a baker or cook. But when I first visited home, I was in a frenzy of

recipes and ingredients. What I like to call my “introspective music” playing (usually a mixture of The 1975 songs like “Playing On My Mind” and “The Birthday Party” or The Bleachers’ latest album, or especially James Taylor’s “Carolina in My Mind”), I dissolve into baking times and obsession over the best recipes.

During spring break, after a few months of on-and-off attempts, I found my magnum-opus

chocolate chip cookie recipe. It came upon me during a habitual Instagram scroll. The recipe is from Dee & Sweets on Instagram: “Chewy Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk Cookies”—truly the best thing since sliced bread. They are soft and chewy, and hold their shape well when baking, so you get that really thick fluffy cookie. I highly recommend them.

As a freshman in college, most things are out of my control. I just moved seven and a half hours away from my small town life, that I was perfectly happy with, to attend college in Washington, D. C.—it comes with its ups and downs. Going home and diving into “cookie world” is now a favorite pastime for me.

I encourage any college student—or any person existentially struggling with losing control—to turn to baking. There is something so therapeutic, cathartic even, about measuring the perfect amount of flour, baking soda, salt, butter, sugar, egg, vanilla extract, and chocolate to ensure you end up with the perfect cookie. And then going back and methodically tweaking the recipe to make it even better. (Hint: you probably need more chocolate).

Make no mistake, on May 2nd, when I pull up to my house, I will float into the kitchen, wash my hands, pull out all my ingredients, and start baking. Then maybe, I’ll hug my family and unpack my stuff.