Stopped

by Arin Burrell

“Do you think this light will ever turn green?”

I would care about the light changing if I wasn’t desperately holding on to every moment we

were stuck in this car. Well, not exactly stuck, the other passengers might feel like we’re stuck but I think this is not the worst thing that could happen to us.

Not that being trapped in a small space is nice, but I am enjoying being with everyone.

I am sitting in the passenger seat of a cramped sedan trying to understand the conversation going on in the backseat over the blaring sound coming from the speakers. I would ask the driver to turn it down but car rules state that the driver must be comfortable. And I wouldn’t want to make her, or anyone else, feel like I’m a controlling person.

I want to make a good impression on these people. Even though I have met them before.

But it was brief.

This is the first time in way too long that I have been invited anywhere on some type of group adventure. I am not exactly the loner or introverted type, but I am not someone who can get themselves out and into the world without a pep-talk and a very, very important reason to be leaving the comfort of my own home.

The light is still red.

I can see the driver getting more frustrated.

We are sitting at a relatively calm intersection. There is a car next to us that seems less bothered by the stop and the cars moving perpendicular to us don’t seem to mind the privilege of their green light.

“Maybe I should just turn right,” the driver groans.

“That’s not where the GPS is saying to go,” the person sitting behind me says.

I try to think of something witty to say. Maybe a joke about how not everywhere allows for turns on red or maybe how it is nice to sit and enjoy the scenery of the road or really just something. Anything.

The moment’s gone.

The conversation in the back seat changes. The four people in the car know each other well, I’m the outsider, trying my hardest to match the energy everyone else is giving off. We might have all gone to school together, but it seems like they all had vastly different lives than I did.

As I sit in silence, I’m trying to study how they interact with each other. Not in a creepy way, just in a way that allows for this type of outing to happen more often. I barely know these people and as long as I can hold a good conversation with them, I could be able to do this more. I just had to take the chance to jump into the conversation.

It doesn’t seem to be about anything that I know of. I thought it was about something everyone had watched, I could have pretended to know the reference, but it might be an inside joke instead.

The driver laughs and adds a quip, her frustration gone for the moment.

Everyone else is joking, I want to add something. Say something finally so they remember I am here. I was given shotgun only because I had the longest legs, not because I called it, if there was any resentment because of this act of good luck, I have to make up for it in being a good passenger.

I found something to say. It’s clever, but just silly enough to stay in the minds of everyone for the rest of the ride and maybe for the rest of their lives.

I take a deep breath, preparing to turn slightly to speak to the whole group.

“Oh, hey! The light changed!” The driver hits the gas and interrupts my moment.

I will just have to wait for another time to shine, I guess.