By Abby St. Jean
I was a pre-professional ballet dancer for 16 years. Throughout that time I was also a visual artist — primarily drawing and painting. Art was always a part of my recreation from the time I was 2 up until I graduated high school. When I came to college, I knew I wanted to be a studio art minor so that I could continue to have visual art in my life. What I didn’t know was that turning art into a degree doesn’t make it that fun. I also didn’t realize how much I would miss dancing.
Today I took my first formal dance class in 5 years, and by the end I felt a little lump in my throat and tears behind my eyes. I had learned a few things in that hour and a half.
I learned that art has a powerful way of creating community — even if that community is lost once you step out the door. Me and these 8 other women who were re-entering their dance careers as adults felt some powerful emotions; we laughed, we sweat, we moved in ways we didn't think we could, we bonded.
I learned that art doesn’t carry the same sense of judgment when you're an adult. As a child, especially in ballet, the assumption is that if you are passionate about it, then you are going to make a career out of it. That assumption comes with immense amounts of pressure, distress, and even hatred for the craft. It’s often also met with intense disappointment when reality strikes and you realize you likely will not make a career out of it. As an adult, though, people have a career and a life outside of their art — there are no expectations, there is no judgment. You can just do the thing because you love the thing.
I also learned that you don’t ever lose your sense of artistry. If you were trained in dance, art, music, writing, it will always be there. Flexibility, stamina, technique — those can be lost. But deep down, the artistry will always be there, and it just takes a little bit of pushing (maybe even the hardest hour and a half of your life) to break it out.
I ultimately realized through this one class that finding an outlet for being an artist as an adult is not as intimidating as I thought it would be. People will always be excited for you to join their community. I hope that everyone can find their ceramics class, artist residency, writer’s club, crocheting community, or even ballet studio to guide them through adulthood.
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